Gold & Silver Forum - My summer plans....

After years of nagging by my girlfriend to go on a cruise, I finally got
around to checking opportunities (what with the economy and all)
and I�ve struck gold! I found a package that really caught my eye - a
Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in theSudan) and
docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania).

The cost is a bit high at $800 per person (double occupancy), but
what I found encouraging and enlightening is that the cruise is
encouraging people to bring their 'High powered weapons' along on
the cruise. If you don�t have weapons, no problem, you can rent
them right on the boat. They claim to have a master blacksmith on
board and will have reloading parties every afternoon. The cruise
lasts from 4 to 8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per
person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and
down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here
are some of the costs and claims associated with the package.

-$800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)

-M-16 full auto rental $ 25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of
5.56 armor piercing ammo at 15.95

-Ak-47 rifle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 Com
block ball ammo at 14.95

-Barrett M-107 .50 Cal sniper rifle rental 55.00/day ammo at
25 rounds 50 Cal armor piercing at 9.95

-Crew members can double as spotters for 30.00 per hour
(spotting scope included).

-And for those not faint of heart, they even offer RPG's at 75
bucks for 3 standard loads. Now that�s reasonable!

"Everyone gets use of freecomplimentary night vision
equipment,and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm - 6am."

Most cruises offer a mini-bar... but these entrepreneurs offer.........
get this.... "MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ 450.00 per 30
seconds of sustained fire"

Well, as you can imagine, I called and told them to sign my girlfriend's
and my ass up!

They advertise group rates and corporate discounts..... and even
claim "FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY", though the girls are
unfortunately unavailable the week that we�re targeting (no pun
intended). They even offer a partial money back guarantee if not
satisfied....here�s some text from the ad.

"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking
attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money including gun
rental charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not
included). How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking?
We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an
attempted hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and
cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making
three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia. At night the
boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud
disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is
limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before May 10th
and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your
choice."

As if all that isn�t enough to whet your appetite, there were a few
testimonials

"I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'll never hunt big game in
Africa again! I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!"----Lars ,
Hamburg Germany

"Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three
pirates and my 12 year old son sank two rowboats with the minigun.
PIRATES 0 -PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure
your spotter speaks English". Ned,Salt Lake city , Utah USA

"I haven�t had this much fun since flying choppers in Nam . Don�t
worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to
the ship with those weapons they use and their shitty aim-- reminds
me of the drunken 'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor
pool back in Nam" --"chopper'

Dan ----Toledo USA.

"Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around and we saw
them bleed and cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded
pirate eaten by sharks--what a laugh riot!! This is a must do.--- Zeke-
Minnahaw Springs Kentucky USA

Finally, someone had the common sense to cash in AND solve a
major problem. These folks deserve a medal!

Well, there it is...screw the driving range, I�m heading to the target
range to ensure that I get maximum advantage on this cruise.

GRP